Celebrating Marriage 2020
April 2, 2020
Wow! How do the years seem to simply FLY by at a monstrously fast pace? I will be turning 55 this year. That is no small number. That is OVER 20,000 days that I have been on this earth, living life. AND almost 15,000 of those days I’ve known my husband. 40 years ago we met. I was 14 when we met. He was 18 and getting ready to graduate high school. We met on March 30. We married 3 years and 3 days later.
I’ll never forget that day or the feelings I had when I met him. I was staying at his sister’s for the weekend. She lived just a block away, so we walked to their parents house and he was sitting on the couch. I stood in the doorway and looked at this tall, lanky guy with a western shirt and cap on. I can’t say it was “love at first sight” but there was something, for sure. We hit it off right away. We spent the next three days together. He would stay late at his sister’s house each night as the two of us played board games. We even finished a game of Monopoly! We didn’t want to say goodbye. We told his two nephews that I was their aunt. Pretty funny, if you think about it. We didn’t really know each other. I have ALWAYS been a “hopeless romantic”. I had NEVER had a guy be as attentive as him. I was NOT the popular, pretty girl in school.
It would be months before things got past just phone calls. In fact, if I didn’t say “call me tomorrow”, he would NOT call! We hung out all summer and fall. He would go to church with me. We dated for a while. We were always together by ourselves or with my friends cruising main street. It was a SMALL city, smaller than it is now. FINALLY, mid November, two weeks before my 15th birthday, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was over the top excited because he was my first REAL boy friend. I was his first, too. That made perfect sense because he was so shy and quiet. Total opposite of myself.
It’s funny to look back on that time. I was still in school and he was working at a local auto parts store before he started working in the oil field on a rig. We were together as much as possible. He would drive me to school some days, before I got my DL. I can actually remember standing on my front porch watching for his Jeep, (Yes, he had a Jeep back then, too.) I could see cars coming down the road and Jeep headlights are very distinctive. When he worked in the oil field, he worked 6 days and was off 2. During long distance jobs, the rig was out of town really far so they stayed at the rig. I waited for phone calls and letters like they were a life-line. He would write me letters but never mailed them. I have so many letters in a drawer that he wrote. I needed them while he was gone, to know he was thinking about me as much as I was him. I usually got one phone call. See, back then, we didn’t have cell phones. He had to find time to go call me on a pay phone. It had to be a time that I wasn’t at school away from my home phone. Oh, how I longed for those phone calls to hear his voice and hear him say how much he loved and missed me!
The summer before I turned 17, we finally decided to get married. We went to Zales and picked out rings. THEN we told my grandparents we were getting married. I can still remember the look on their faces. Shocked and dumbfounded. I WAS only 16 at the time. They loved him, I would have never been allowed to date him had they not. The plan was to have a June wedding, in between my junior and senior years of high school. My aunt had a “better” idea. When we were all together for Thanksgiving, she suggested we get married over Easter weekend, that way most of the family could be there. That was two months early so I was all for it. I felt my grandmother give her oldest child the death stare, heehee. That year, Easter was April 3. So my wedding day was sandwiched between April Fool’s Day and Easter Sunday.
That day, 37 years ago today, was a day filled with sunshine and joy. The wedding was simple, in the church I grew up in. Most family was there. The fact that ALL of my siblings attended was a miracle, since two of them were adopted by other families. Most of my cousins were there. My grandpa walked me down the aisle. We didn’t have money for a honeymoon. We had dinner with his family at Pizza Inn and went to the VFW that evening with them to dance, which my new husband does NOT do. But his dad, brother and cousins did. So I danced with them.
We moved from a small city in south Texas to the middle of the big metro area of DFW, in Arlington, after we had been married for a little over 2 years. We moved away from all of our family. It would take us over a year and a half to find a church home, but we stayed there for 22 years. We found our current church in 2008. We are so blessed to have been a part of each of these church families at the time we were there. God has always been a foundational part of my life and always will be.
Those 37 years have been filled with many ups and downs. Our marriage in no way has been perfect. There were several times when I thought it might be over. In our early years, I was a Jesus follower and he wasn’t. Our relationship was the most challenged because of it. I was being pulled away from the truths that I knew and from what was right. I was not going to church for a few years and I was not spending time with friends that were on the Jesus Way. Satan makes it look very appealing to go down the wrong path. He makes it seem like we are entitled for things to turn out a certain way or a person needs to act a certain way our we won’t let them in, until it starts affecting your daily life and joy.
After we had two children and had lost two, he found a relationship with Christ and things began to change. We’ve still had some MAJOR life struggles and some high points after that. We lost another baby and filed for bankruptcy. We juggled both of us working while NOT putting our kids in childcare, for a season. Right before our 15th anniversary, we were blessed with our house and two more children. Until then, we had lived in mobile homes, apartments and rent houses. This home was nicer than we ever thought we would ever be able to afford. I had started homeschooling both the older children. I decided to start watching kids after our third child was born. We had some teen struggles, some behavioral struggles, some medical struggles, financial struggles and just some everyday challenges.
On our 25th wedding anniversary, we decided to renew our vows and get married all over again. We held it on our exact anniversary date. That was an amazing day. Our four children were with us on the platform. The best man and bridesmaid from our first ceremony were there. One of the dearest people in our lives sang two songs that are special to us. A friend of ours put together a dvd with pictures and songs for our service. It turned out great and I cry every time I watch it. I got a new wedding set that is white gold and extremely gorgeous! We finally got to go on our honeymoon! We went to a honeymoon resort in Pennsylvania. We hadn’t gotten away in so long and were going through some very challenging times with one of our children. Trying to find answers and what would help make things better. Despite those struggles, this was one of the happiest times in our lives. We were even more in love with each other than ever before.
We’ve lived through times of plenty and times of shortage. We’ve had amazing vacations as a couple and as a family. We’ve come through so much. But it has NOT been because we are so great or even great together. The credit for everything we have accomplished and come through is because we put our faith and trust in the One who created us, the One who brought us together and the One who never leaves us no matter how we may turn our backs and try to do things our own way instead of His. Without our faith in Christ Jesus, we would not have EVER been able to get through so much.
Last year, I surprised him with a trip to a beautiful cabin in Broken Bow, OK. It was far too short of a trip but it was wonderful, just the same. We were able to get away from everything and everyone. We enjoy being in a cabin and going outside and being in nature. This year, I got him a mug with some candy. No travel is going on at this time, or celebrating at restaurants or movie theaters. He has to work tonight. That is okay. We will do something at a different time. I’ve got a fabulous trip planned for Disney next year. Praying things pick up and we have the funds to make it extra special.
In the past few years, things have gotten a bit busy. He works evenings and has a lawn business during the day. I am teaching preschool at home during the day, I’m a fitness coach and am usually busy with that and/or the grands in the evenings, which he isn’t home most nights, anyway. Weekends he is working. We don’t see each other except in passing, most days. We rarely have time for a date night. That might change things for some couples. But for us, we just keep going and know that no matter what our life has in store, we will ride it out together. It is so strange because all of our children are adults now. Technically, we are “empty nesters” except that two of our children still live at home and part of the time a couple of our grands live here. I’m not sure what life will be like when these two move out. I know it is coming but it will be weird. I’m trying to keep my sanity and just think of positives that will come from it, like having an extra room for sewing and crafts, or even a library for me, or all three. Otherwise, I will get sad about it.
At this time, we are going through a world pandemic. WORLD! We’ve never dealt with this in our 40 years together. But we are working together. We are taking care of our family and doing what we can to “flatten the curve”, (that is the phrase they are using) and pay the bills. After years of ups and downs, I know that things could get difficult BUT I am in no way afraid that we won’t bounce back and things will move forward. We will be stronger. We will be together. I don’t know what the next 40 years will look like, but I know that they will be filled with memories of us TOGETHER as long as we are BOTH here on this earth. And I KNOW that we will be TOGETHER for eternity in Heaven someday.
I know this was a LONG post. It did ME good to sit and just THINK back about those first memories and walk forward and skim a few things here and there. I didn’t put everything in this post. I could probably write a novel, my girls tell me all the time I should write my story. Maybe someday.
“I love you, Babe! We’ve had hard times and things aren’t perfect, but my love for you will never stop. I choose YOU! Always and forever! -Terri”
Wow! How do the years seem to simply FLY by at a monstrously fast pace? I will be turning 55 this year. That is no small number. That is OVER 20,000 days that I have been on this earth, living life. AND almost 15,000 of those days I’ve known my husband. 40 years ago we met. I was 14 when we met. He was 18 and getting ready to graduate high school. We met on March 30. We married 3 years and 3 days later.
I’ll never forget that day or the feelings I had when I met him. I was staying at his sister’s for the weekend. She lived just a block away, so we walked to their parents house and he was sitting on the couch. I stood in the doorway and looked at this tall, lanky guy with a western shirt and cap on. I can’t say it was “love at first sight” but there was something, for sure. We hit it off right away. We spent the next three days together. He would stay late at his sister’s house each night as the two of us played board games. We even finished a game of Monopoly! We didn’t want to say goodbye. We told his two nephews that I was their aunt. Pretty funny, if you think about it. We didn’t really know each other. I have ALWAYS been a “hopeless romantic”. I had NEVER had a guy be as attentive as him. I was NOT the popular, pretty girl in school.
It would be months before things got past just phone calls. In fact, if I didn’t say “call me tomorrow”, he would NOT call! We hung out all summer and fall. He would go to church with me. We dated for a while. We were always together by ourselves or with my friends cruising main street. It was a SMALL city, smaller than it is now. FINALLY, mid November, two weeks before my 15th birthday, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was over the top excited because he was my first REAL boy friend. I was his first, too. That made perfect sense because he was so shy and quiet. Total opposite of myself.
It’s funny to look back on that time. I was still in school and he was working at a local auto parts store before he started working in the oil field on a rig. We were together as much as possible. He would drive me to school some days, before I got my DL. I can actually remember standing on my front porch watching for his Jeep, (Yes, he had a Jeep back then, too.) I could see cars coming down the road and Jeep headlights are very distinctive. When he worked in the oil field, he worked 6 days and was off 2. During long distance jobs, the rig was out of town really far so they stayed at the rig. I waited for phone calls and letters like they were a life-line. He would write me letters but never mailed them. I have so many letters in a drawer that he wrote. I needed them while he was gone, to know he was thinking about me as much as I was him. I usually got one phone call. See, back then, we didn’t have cell phones. He had to find time to go call me on a pay phone. It had to be a time that I wasn’t at school away from my home phone. Oh, how I longed for those phone calls to hear his voice and hear him say how much he loved and missed me!
The summer before I turned 17, we finally decided to get married. We went to Zales and picked out rings. THEN we told my grandparents we were getting married. I can still remember the look on their faces. Shocked and dumbfounded. I WAS only 16 at the time. They loved him, I would have never been allowed to date him had they not. The plan was to have a June wedding, in between my junior and senior years of high school. My aunt had a “better” idea. When we were all together for Thanksgiving, she suggested we get married over Easter weekend, that way most of the family could be there. That was two months early so I was all for it. I felt my grandmother give her oldest child the death stare, heehee. That year, Easter was April 3. So my wedding day was sandwiched between April Fool’s Day and Easter Sunday.
That day, 37 years ago today, was a day filled with sunshine and joy. The wedding was simple, in the church I grew up in. Most family was there. The fact that ALL of my siblings attended was a miracle, since two of them were adopted by other families. Most of my cousins were there. My grandpa walked me down the aisle. We didn’t have money for a honeymoon. We had dinner with his family at Pizza Inn and went to the VFW that evening with them to dance, which my new husband does NOT do. But his dad, brother and cousins did. So I danced with them.
We moved from a small city in south Texas to the middle of the big metro area of DFW, in Arlington, after we had been married for a little over 2 years. We moved away from all of our family. It would take us over a year and a half to find a church home, but we stayed there for 22 years. We found our current church in 2008. We are so blessed to have been a part of each of these church families at the time we were there. God has always been a foundational part of my life and always will be.
Those 37 years have been filled with many ups and downs. Our marriage in no way has been perfect. There were several times when I thought it might be over. In our early years, I was a Jesus follower and he wasn’t. Our relationship was the most challenged because of it. I was being pulled away from the truths that I knew and from what was right. I was not going to church for a few years and I was not spending time with friends that were on the Jesus Way. Satan makes it look very appealing to go down the wrong path. He makes it seem like we are entitled for things to turn out a certain way or a person needs to act a certain way our we won’t let them in, until it starts affecting your daily life and joy.
After we had two children and had lost two, he found a relationship with Christ and things began to change. We’ve still had some MAJOR life struggles and some high points after that. We lost another baby and filed for bankruptcy. We juggled both of us working while NOT putting our kids in childcare, for a season. Right before our 15th anniversary, we were blessed with our house and two more children. Until then, we had lived in mobile homes, apartments and rent houses. This home was nicer than we ever thought we would ever be able to afford. I had started homeschooling both the older children. I decided to start watching kids after our third child was born. We had some teen struggles, some behavioral struggles, some medical struggles, financial struggles and just some everyday challenges.
On our 25th wedding anniversary, we decided to renew our vows and get married all over again. We held it on our exact anniversary date. That was an amazing day. Our four children were with us on the platform. The best man and bridesmaid from our first ceremony were there. One of the dearest people in our lives sang two songs that are special to us. A friend of ours put together a dvd with pictures and songs for our service. It turned out great and I cry every time I watch it. I got a new wedding set that is white gold and extremely gorgeous! We finally got to go on our honeymoon! We went to a honeymoon resort in Pennsylvania. We hadn’t gotten away in so long and were going through some very challenging times with one of our children. Trying to find answers and what would help make things better. Despite those struggles, this was one of the happiest times in our lives. We were even more in love with each other than ever before.
We’ve lived through times of plenty and times of shortage. We’ve had amazing vacations as a couple and as a family. We’ve come through so much. But it has NOT been because we are so great or even great together. The credit for everything we have accomplished and come through is because we put our faith and trust in the One who created us, the One who brought us together and the One who never leaves us no matter how we may turn our backs and try to do things our own way instead of His. Without our faith in Christ Jesus, we would not have EVER been able to get through so much.
Last year, I surprised him with a trip to a beautiful cabin in Broken Bow, OK. It was far too short of a trip but it was wonderful, just the same. We were able to get away from everything and everyone. We enjoy being in a cabin and going outside and being in nature. This year, I got him a mug with some candy. No travel is going on at this time, or celebrating at restaurants or movie theaters. He has to work tonight. That is okay. We will do something at a different time. I’ve got a fabulous trip planned for Disney next year. Praying things pick up and we have the funds to make it extra special.
In the past few years, things have gotten a bit busy. He works evenings and has a lawn business during the day. I am teaching preschool at home during the day, I’m a fitness coach and am usually busy with that and/or the grands in the evenings, which he isn’t home most nights, anyway. Weekends he is working. We don’t see each other except in passing, most days. We rarely have time for a date night. That might change things for some couples. But for us, we just keep going and know that no matter what our life has in store, we will ride it out together. It is so strange because all of our children are adults now. Technically, we are “empty nesters” except that two of our children still live at home and part of the time a couple of our grands live here. I’m not sure what life will be like when these two move out. I know it is coming but it will be weird. I’m trying to keep my sanity and just think of positives that will come from it, like having an extra room for sewing and crafts, or even a library for me, or all three. Otherwise, I will get sad about it.
At this time, we are going through a world pandemic. WORLD! We’ve never dealt with this in our 40 years together. But we are working together. We are taking care of our family and doing what we can to “flatten the curve”, (that is the phrase they are using) and pay the bills. After years of ups and downs, I know that things could get difficult BUT I am in no way afraid that we won’t bounce back and things will move forward. We will be stronger. We will be together. I don’t know what the next 40 years will look like, but I know that they will be filled with memories of us TOGETHER as long as we are BOTH here on this earth. And I KNOW that we will be TOGETHER for eternity in Heaven someday.
I know this was a LONG post. It did ME good to sit and just THINK back about those first memories and walk forward and skim a few things here and there. I didn’t put everything in this post. I could probably write a novel, my girls tell me all the time I should write my story. Maybe someday.
“I love you, Babe! We’ve had hard times and things aren’t perfect, but my love for you will never stop. I choose YOU! Always and forever! -Terri”
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