Like The Sands In An Hour Glass

April 19, 2020

That is what life feels like to me right now, sand falling one granulate at a time, in slow motion. The days are dragging but at the same time, they feel empty, as if I am accomplishing nothing. I have to work really hard to see the positives right now. The lack of interaction with other people is taking a toll on my mental wellness. I’ve only gone to the store twice in the last four weeks. I “attend” church online. I “attend” women’s Sunday morning Bible study online. I do online lessons for my preschoolers that don’t get to see in person. I AM LONELY!
I had a great attitude at the beginning. I was getting major projects done around the house. I was taking some time to myself and just trying to breathe. I also started doing work on an online preschool idea since I was taking it virtually anyway. I’m not sure what happened this past week, except I started feeling a bit down and void. I do my best to NOT let myself stay in that mindset because I KNOW how far down that path it can lead.

I do have happy moments where I can see so many positives and just enjoy the down time. When I start getting down, I try to find something MORE positive to focus on. The weather has been pretty nice this week so I asked my daughter to take some pictures of the sky and trees for me. I love to see how beautiful the sky and spring trees because that reminds me that God is at work and is watching over me. That knowledge is the biggest comfort I have in every situation.

I’ve always pointed out the beauty of God’s creation to my kids. We enjoy the different ways the sky looks depending on the time of day and how many clouds there are. A sunny day with a sky full of clouds is one of my favorites. Of course, sunset with the clouds colored by it is, too. I love the different seasons and how the trees change. I love the rose bushes blooming.

As I was outside with the new puppy, I decided to take a picture of the apple blossoms on one of our trees. After I took the pictures I saw the bee on them. I couldn’t help but smile as I thought about it. The bees are the reason my rose bushes are blooming. They are the reason we have apple blossoms and will have apples. God designed things to work so perfectly.

What do you focus on when you start to feel down or isolated? This is a time that most of us has never experienced. We will get through it, it is just a matter of how. This week, I’m going to get back on track. I am going to STOP stress eating. I am going to STOP allowing myself to just waste my time sitting here mindlessly watching TV and staring off into space.

I have serious goals and I refuse to allow myself to give up on them. Stay tuned! 2020 IS going to be an amazing year for me despite everything going on!